Then in back to back comments, she did the one thing I’ve specifically told her makes me feel so guilty I avoid interacting with her.

[I am not responsible for another’s guilt. Not my style. I responded with a comment to another comment that was in error, wishing Ilde a happy birthday. I commented that, «My birthday is in 2 days. My birthday wish would be to be with my d and I missed her very much.» THAT is what made her feel guilty! I never meant that Ilde HAD to be responsible for visiting!]

My gender journey is hard enough managing my own emotions, going through most of it with a partner, and then a spouse, who told me she wouldn’t love me if I was a woman

I haven’t been to Florida since . It’s for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that going back is emotionally draining. I’ve lost a lot of friends down there in the last few years. The first time I went back after I «came out» — that is, decided not to filter my posts — I was cornered, asked why I didn’t talk to my family about it, and asked if I could be misgendered by them still. Here’s the answer I wanted to give at the time.

[I would love to know who said this. And I didn’t know it was so emotionally draining. I would have been just as happy to go see her in Wisconsin!]

That you were so avoidant of the topic of sex that both times I was assaulted, I dissociated the memories rather than come to you for help

I didn’t tell you I was queer for the same reason you asked me why I didn’t tell you I was queer. I didn’t tell you for the same reason you asked if I could still be your son, your nephew, or any number of other masc-identified terms. My queerness is about me. Who cheated on me. Who told me the day I got the courage to say hey, I spent the last 6 months putting myself in a place where I can help you address the cracks in our relationship, that she didn’t want to, and left that very night. (далее…)